JOY!

Dear Parents,

“Happiness breaks through our sense of limitations.”

- A Chassidic Saying

Purim is the most fun of all the Jewish holidays. Although its message is profound (as I attempted to describe in my last letter), the festivities surrounding the holiday are great fun: We dress in costume, eat lots of yummy sweets and surround ourselves with spirit.

As a community, we are celebrating with a party on March 10^th at 5pm. We will be having a DRUM CIRCLE*, a festive MEAL and a MASQUERADE. We hope you will join us! For those of you who want to hear the Purim story in the original Hebrew, read from a “megillah” scroll, we will be reading it at 3:30pm.

Having a joyful disposition is a lifelong pursuit. It doesn’t come easy for most of us. While it may be relatively easy to feel pleasure, feeling joy is far more challenging. And being joyful is what really sustains us.

So how do we capture joy and make it our life view? I find that there are two components to accomplishing this:

1. I need to encourage myself to consistently see all the good that is around me, the good that I often take for granted.
2. When I feel the negative thoughts coming, I must find the strength to close down those ‘voices’ that threatens to take me down – to have “mind over matter” and to try to use my energies instead on finding solutions to the issues that are overwhelming me.
   

How we apply this message at Zimmer:

Throughout the day, we focus on the gifts we have. For example, before we eat snack and lunch, we take a moment to think about the fact that we are lucky to have yummy, healthy food we like, and parents who prepare it for us. (We make a blessing, too.) When we go outdoors we take the time to notice the incredible outdoor world we have. We talk about how fortunate we are that we have our friends, etc. This helps the children learn to notice the many gifts they have.

While we would not expect children of this age to quiet negative thoughts, they are able to have “mind over matter” with regard to other things, like if they want to shout/bite/hit/push/leave out another child. To help the children get used to the idea of making active choices, of having “mind over matter” we encourage the children to acknowledge what they are feeling, but then to STOP, to THINK, and to MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE.

Sincerely,

Malkie

DRUM TALES combines the fun and music of a traditional Drumming Circle with story-telling. Each participant is given a percussive instrument, and their own musical and percussive personality. As the story unfolds, the characters step into the spotlight of the plot in motion, the different musical and percussive innovations follow the characters. ‘Drum Tales Purim’ is set in ancient Persia, with Queen Esther, King Antiochus and Mordechai. Join us for this exciting tale of mystery, miracles, triumph and joy!

PURIM - IT'S ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIPS!

Dear Parents:

Did you notice the royal palace as you came to school this morning? Walk inside and feel like a king or queen! The royal palace of Persia is the setting of the Purim Story, a story that took place 2,300 years ago...

HISTORICAL CONTEXT:

Megillat Esther, The Book of Esther (where this ancient story is transcribed) opens in the royal courts of the Persian Empire and the King Achashverosh (Xerxes). The Jewish people, having being exiled from the land of Israel to Persia (by way of Babylonia), were part of this empire. A beautiful Jewish woman by the name Esther was forced to join the king’s harem. As luck would have it – or Divine providence – she made a deep impression on the king, he fell in love with her and he asked her to marry him. Esther’s uncle, Rabbi Mordechai, told her not to reveal her Jewish identity to the king.

Enter the villain of the story, wicked Haman, the arrogant advisor to the king. Haman wanted to destroy the Jewish people and got the king’s permission to annihilate all the Jews. Rabbi Mordecai advised his niece Esther to speak to the king on behalf of the Jewish people. This was a dangerous thing for Esther to do, because anyone who came into the king's presence without being summoned could be put to death, and she had not been summoned. Esther fasted for three days to prepare herself, then went into the king. He welcomed her. She told him of Haman's plot against her people. The Jewish people were saved, and Haman was hanged on the gallows that had been prepared for Mordecai*.

*This is not the way we tell the story to the children. Class newsletters will describe it further.

THE PURIM MESSAGE:

The Book of Esther is the only book of the Bible that does not contain the name nor any reference to G-d. It seems as if our victory was due to wonderful coincidences and ordinary good luck. But G-d often works in ways that are not apparent, in ways that appear to be chance. It is up to us to uncover that hidden-ness of the Divine/human relationship and acknowledge its place in our lives.

Taking this message to human relationships – friendships, even strangers – we share a world together and it is wonderful to take the time to acknowledge the connections we have with each other!

PURIM TODAY:

To commemorate the miracle and the message, Rabbi Mordechai established the Purim holiday. He asked that everyone should involve themselves in uncovering the hidden beauties all around them. We have a festive meal in celebration. We hear the story of Purim to gain context for this message. We give money to charity: Helping those who have less than us is our moral responsibility. And we give MISHLOACH MANOT, gifts of foods to our friends to celebrate our relationships.

‘MISHLOACH MANOT’ MESSAGE:

Purim reminds us that there is always a special relationship to celebrate! All we need to do is stop, think about it and tap into it. And that what Purim asks of us to d o. To stop and think about the people dear to us and show our appreciation. We give each other gifts of food to express our gratitude for the relationship.

Here at Zimmer Preschool we are a family. We share common goals and aspirations for our children and know the value in creating relationships.

This Purim come and be part of this beautiful Mishloach Manot Project!

Mishloach Manot is a food gift that we give to a friend to acknowledge our relationship.

This is a wonderful opportunity to foster our connections we have within the Zimmer School community.

We, at Zimmer, will facilitate the giving/getting of Mishloach Manot Food Gifts between our families.

Here’s how we will do it:

• By Wednesday, February 25, we ask that each family write a short description about themselves to share with the family that they’re (randomly) matched with. This way we can get to know each other better.
• On Friday, February 27, each family will be matched to another family to give a Mishloach Manot Food Gift.
• You can assemble the Mishloach Manot Food Gift in our Mishloach Manot Gift room (upstairs at Zimmer) where there will be a large assortment of Purim treats and decorative packaging.
• In addition to the food package, how about writing a note to ‘your’ family? You can take it home to do that or you can do it there. Paper and pens will be provided.
• Over the next days – or at the Chabad Purim Party, Tuesday, March 10 at 5pm – please give ‘your’ family their gift.
  
  

So, to get this process going, please send in a write-up about your family. You can include the names and ages of your children, where you live, hobbies and interests of your family or anything else you would like to share.

Please send your family's description by Wednesday, February 25.

If you have any questions, please speak with Morah Batsheva, who is coordinating this project, or to Morah Linda.

With wishes for rich and meaningful relationships!
Malkie

'HEARING' EMOTIONS

Dear Parents:

I just spent a wonderful all-female weekend with 2,500 (!!) of my Chabad colleagues. As you may know, the goal of Chabad globally is to create havens to support each person’s journey towards a life of fulfillment. Although all 2,500 of us share this goal we each express it in the unique way that matches the particular needs and contexts of each of our respective communities.

Here in Somerset County, NJ, one of the many ways this goal takes form is in our preschool. If I had to condense our overarching goal of preschool into a single sentence it would be to encourage our children to value their thoughts and feelings and to use them to make active choices that will allow them to lead a fulfilling life. (Of course, imbuing children with knowledge of their world and guiding their skills-acquisition flows seamlessly from this attitude.)

Dr. Haim Ginott writes that an indicator of a quality teacher is one who “helps children recognize and respect their inner feelings. Above all, he is cautious not to confuse children about how they feel.”

Wow! “Above all, he is cautious not to confuse children about how they feel.” What does that mean? So often, when our children share with us their emotions – for example: I am angry! Or, I am scared – we come back with “You have nothing to be angry about,” or, “There is nothing to be afraid of.” Instead of helping the child work through his/her feelings, this attitude forces the child to stifle his/her emotion, filling him/her with confusion.

When a child is told, "There is nothing to be afraid of," his or her fear increases. Dr. Haim Ginott describes it this way: “The child gets thrice frightened: In addition to his original fear (1), he is now afraid to be afraid (2), and fearful that he will not be able to hide his fright (3). Fear does not vanish when banished. It does not disappear when its existence is not recognized. When a child is afraid, it is best to acknowledge his fear openly and with respect.”

This attitude applies to all emotions. How does a bashful child feel when she or he is advised, “don’t be shy,” or a child in pain is told, “there is nothing to cry about” or a child with a problem, “everyone has such problems,” or “there is nothing to worry about”?

Rather than deny their emotions we must encourage the child to explore them. Then – only then – can the child control it.

The other day I overheard a child say to his teacher, “But I want it now!” The child desperately wanted the toy that another child was using. He was old enough to understand that he must wait his turn; this “whine” was more about his not getting his desire immediately satiated. The teacher smiled at him, acknowledging his desire and said, “I do understand how much you want the toy. It is a fun toy to play with. Do you think you can hold on to that feeling for a little while? Do you think you can save it for a bit until your friend is finished playing with it?” The child gave the teacher the widest, brightest smile. “Yes!” he responded, “I think I can!”

When a child is sad/scared/angry/jealous or happy/proud/bubbly, we get right there with them. We allow the child to taste his or her feeling. Otherwise we risk turning our children into people who don’t really understand their own emotions. When children share their emotions with us, we thank the child for sharing, we rephrase their words so that the child sees that we understand what she or he said, and then we help them work through it. Not with quick fix responses, but by gently encouraging the child to find a solution. “That must really hurt. What do you think you can do about it?”

I have seen this work countless times!

With respect,

Malkie

TU BISHVAT

Dear Parents,

The Jewish calendar is sprinkled with special days, each with its own message of self-betterment and personal growth.

The Tu B'Shvat holiday, the New Year for Trees, occurs on the 15^th day of the month of Shvat, corresponding this year to February 9^th. Tu B'Shvat is the beginning of the growth season in Israel, providing the demarcation line for a year's agricultural production. Biblically, farmers in Israel are required to bring a percentage of their yearly crops to charity; Tu B'Shvat is the cut off date.

But I am not living in Israel, nor do I tithe produce to charity, as I am not a farmer. So what practical relationship do I have with this holiday?

The message of Tu B'Shvat is that we are part of the created world and inextricably bound to all creations. This agricultural holiday brings to mind the relationship we have to each other and to the world at large. Relationships bring with them richness and responsibilities.

Tu B'Shvat brings to mind the relationships we have with our fellow human. If one is lacking, we are obligated to provide support. In Hebrew, the word ‘charity’ does not exist. Instead, we use the word ‘tzedakah’, which means righteousness or justice. It is not charitable to give tzedakah, but expected. We are all responsible for each other.

Tu B'Shvat brings to mind our relationship we have to the earth and her produce. We benefit so much from it, but we must treat it responsibly and with dignity.

Tu B'Shvat brings to mind our relationship to the Land of Israel. Although it is still winter here, in Israel the season of growth begins.

Each holiday has its customs and rituals. On Tu B'Shvat we eat fruits, specifically the fruits and grains with which Israel is praised: wheat, barley, grapes, figs, dates, pomegranates and olives.

Our school will be having a Grand Fruit Tu Bishvat Party! Please send in one or two fruits to share with your child’s class.

Here’s how each class explored this idea in a developmental way:

· The young 2's will be focusing on how fruits grow from trees and vegetables grow from the ground. Toddlers are at the stage in development in which they understand only concrete things, they cannot yet conceptualize. We will use pictures and tangible objects to taste and explore. We will sing about how happy we are that we have these fruits and vegetables to eat.

· The older 2's turned 3’s will expand on this concept by further exploring how the fruits and vegetables that we eat raw can also be cooked and combined with other foods to make so many yummy treats. They will also be learning about the special fruits that grow in Israel, and that Tu B'Shvat is a time to celebrate the growth of all fruits and vegetables.

· The 3's will be building on the big ideas of the younger children by exploring the growth of fruits and vegetables, and how we are responsible to take care of these growing things by planting, watering, weeding, and so on. Tu B'Shvat is a time to celebrate the growth of all fruits and vegetables, and we specifically recall the special things that grow in Israel; wheat, barley, dates, pomegranates, olives, figs, and grapes.

· The Pre-K class will focus on how thankful we are for 'produce' - the fruits and vegetables that grow and that we can eat to be healthy and strong. They will also learn about our role as caretakers of these growing things, and how farmers in Israel must take extra care to grow produce in a desert climate. This class will also be learning about how farmers in Israel take a portion of their produce and give it to people who do not have enough food to eat. We will celebrate Tu B'Shvat by eating the special produce that grows in Israel.

RECYCLING AND REUSING

Dear Parents:

As you know, we have made recycling a real part of our day at Zimmer. Many of you shared with me the (obsessive?) attention our children seem to place on recycling…

This is the message we took to the children:

What is Recycling?
Each of us needs to do our part to protect our world. There are billions and billions of people living in our world. Each person throws things out every day...many, many, many things. One very important way to help protect our world is by REDUCING the amount of garbage we produce.

How can we reduce our garbage? One way, is by RECYCLING. Rather than throw certain items in the garbage, we think of ways we can REUSE these items - give them a new use. Reusing can be about finding ways to reinvent something.

How Do We Recycle?
Things like plastic, paper, metal can be easily reused. In our classrooms, we separate these things and put them into distinct recycling bins rather than putting it with the rest of the garbage. We either use these items ourselves (for example: a yogurt container can be used to hold pencils) or we deliver them to a big recycling center in our town.

Extending This Lesson Beyond Recycling Garbage
We can learn a great principles for life, beyond the importance of recycling garbage.

· We can do things to care for the beautiful world we live in; that is our responsibility.

· It is important to open our minds and be creative (or re-creative!) when we are looking for solutions.

This unit of study does not have an end date since it is full of life messages important to impart.

What You Might Do At Home

These are all important messages we want to cultivate in our children. In addition to recycling garbage and helping children understand the how's and why's and our responsibility to the world G-d gifted us with, each of the messages described above can find expression in infinite ways. Here are some examples:

Let's look at the responsibility-message
- Help the child gain consciousness of the gift the world is to us. Point out things in nature and ground it back to the idea of gratitude and responsibility.

Let's look at the creative-thinking message
- If a child is playing with a toy in a predictable way and seems bored with it, encourage him/her to think of a different way of using it.
- If a child needs to find a solution for a problem (social or otherwise) expand the child's creativity by asking questions like, "Can you think of another solution? Is there any other way you might solve this? Etc."

Let's look at the finding-solutions message
- Children may feel like giving up too easily when facing a challenge. You might say, “Yes, it does seem like a big problem (validating their emotions, never squelching it – see last newsletter), but I'll bet we can find a solution. What do you think we can do?” If the child is not ready (or able) to come up with one, you can ask, “Would you like a suggestion from me?” Your suggestion may help jog their creativity and open them up to thinking.

Ultimately, for a child to have a full toolbox, s/he needs - in addition to information and rote skills – an openness to creativity, problem-solving and responsibility.

With respect,

Malkie

SHABBAT SHALOM!

Breitman Hebrew School and the Zimmer Preschool will be hosting our annual Friday night Shabbat Dinner.

But what is Shabbat?

Last week, I posed that question to my teenage daughter. She said, “Shabbat is just different to weekday. No matter what is going on during the week, I give myself permission to let it go when Shabbat arrives.” My other daughter nodded in agreement, “Yeah, it’s like chaos, chaos, chaos. And then Shabbat. A day to exhale. It feels so relaxed.”

The truth is I love the hectic nature of life. I thrive on frazzled nerves and impending deadlines. I love noise and energy. But I cannot imagine life without Shabbat. For me, Shabbat is a time to slow down. Like a mini vacation amidst the hectic-ness of life. On Shabbat, I regroup. I read. I rest. I play board games with my kids. I take long walks, and have even longer conversations. And, without the loud “you-got-to-do-this-and-that-and-the-other...right now!” pounding in my brain, in the context of the calmness of the Shabbat day, I get to know me.

Six days a week we focus on earning a living, pursuing an education, working towards our goals. But once a week we stop. We get off the treadmill called ‘life’ and from a relaxed perch we self-assess. It’s like a rest stop on a fast-paced trip: We take a good look at the map and review the directions; we satiate ourselves with food and drink; we stretch our legs so that we are better equipped to handle the rest of the drive. For this 25-hour time, rather than pursue goals, we assess them. We reflect upon them. Personally, Shabbat seems to lift me above the pressures of the clock and the calendar. It’s within time, but it seems to transcend time.

In today’s fast-paced, mega-everything world, it sometimes feels as if we’ve lost the art of getting to know our core selves. It seems as if we live in a world that is on ‘reaction-mode’ rather than ‘proaction-mode’. So, when we explore Shabbat with our children, using age-appropriate language (more info to follow in each class’s newsletters), we discuss this ever-important idea of self reflection. We discuss how Shabbat is a t ime to think about our week and the choices we made. That is called ‘reflect’. We discuss that there is surely a lot to be proud of as we review our past week. So we celebrate. Shabbat is a day to reflect and to celebrate. Reflection and celebration. Two such powerful tools!

I can’t honestly say that I utilize the ‘Shabbat tool’ anywhere near its potential. But whenever I do, I feel much more control over my own life. And, as I am knee-deep in the work week, just knowing that Shabbat is waiting for me at the end of it all, makes me feel safe.

Shabbat Shalom

A Shabbat filled with peace...

Malkie

HOW CAN WE BUILD SELF-CONFIDENT CHILDREN?

As I walk through the hallways of our preschool and peek into the classrooms I am always amazed by the sense of confidence that our children seem to have. Their art and writing impresses me as I see such individuality in the work. Indeed, our school's mission is to create an environment that strengthens children's sense of self, their sense of confidence. Our educational philosophy is premised upon the idea that children will succeed cognitively when their emotional foundation is solid.

How can we build self confidence in a child? One way is by seeing children as competent. And letting them know that we see them that way.

A mother presented me with this situation: Every morning, her three young children (ages 1, 3 and 5) rush to cuddle near her in bed. Sounds sweet. Except there are three children and mom has only two sides. Mom was curious how to approach this situation. She wanted to offer a solution to her children, but she wasn't sure herself as to what to say.

Here's an easy and effective idea: Ask the child to come up with a solution!

All too often adults are quick to offer solutions. Solutions that - given the chance - our children have the capacity to come up with on their own. And their solutions are often more creative than we adults may have come up with!

All too often society underestimates the capabilities of children and assumes that the child does not have problem-solving skills, indirectly sending a message to the child that they need an 'outside source' to solve their problems.

Here's how mom can respond to the children, "I love snuggling with you. But there are two sides near mommy. One, two. (Concretize this 'spatial reality' by pointing and counting.) And there are three children. One, two, three. What do you think we should do about it?"

Quite frankly, had I been the one to suggest the solution, I would have simply offered that the children take turns. Such a practical, adult solution! The 5-year old child, however, offered this creative idea, "Maybe, every morning, we should see who is sad or scared or needs mommy most. Like maybe they had a nightmare. And then we decide like that."

Wow!

By allowing this child the opportunity to come up with her own solution and to practice problem-solving skills, it also showed mommy that this 5-year old child has a sense of empathy, an ability to put her sibling's needs above her own. Empathy is not an easy skill, and - like every other skill - takes practice to perfect. Imagine, by offering an adult solution, as opposed to opening it up to the child, this child would not have had the opportunity to practice these social-emotional skills!

Learning is a gift. And it can only be accomplished first-hand. No one can learn for us. So, let's allow the learner (the child) to carry the beautiful weight of a learning experience. Let's put the 'burden' of learning on the learner's lap.

Have a wonderful week,
Malkie